Rambling

My last post was a bit of a downere, admittedly since getting back from america i've been stuck in a rut. Mainly money issues, jobless, boredom, lack of motivation and inspiration.

I feel as though i'm rising out of it though, and hopefully soon i shall be back to my usual self, with too many ideas rather than none at all.

I had an idea whilst walking last night. I don't know if much potential lies in the idea, but i had an idea, something which has been rare to me recently.
I want to record silence, and then play it back at a higher volume. Not so that it becomes static. I just want to emphasise the noises in silence-because silence doesn't exist and thats the beauty of it.

My favourite time of day is dusk, just before the sun reaches its complete setting point, when the street lights switch on -there's a stillness, if just for a moment as though the world is listening, and you can hear the earth breath. It is likely that certain environments provoke this whilst in others it would be none existant, and you yourself in that moment must be in the state of mind to experience it, it's peaceful.

This is something i can't attempt to portray through art. I fear that i may ruin the moment by trying to capture it. You can only tell the world to listen, you can't force them to practice the art of listening, you can't expect then to listen-just like you can't expect them to understand. And that leads to question, what is the actual point of it all, must there be a point. Does there have to be an answer? sometimes it's nicer not knowing, somethings are better left alone, because the mystery is more thrilling that the assumed satisfaction of knowing. and the thing is...i don't know.
Maybe i'm trying to force something, something which is a lot simpler than i'm making it out to be. Simplicity can often be more complex than we first assume.

I don't know. I don't know what?

I'm bored

i'm bored

im bored of milton keynes

i'm bored of art

i'm bored of being average

i'm bored of money

i'm bored of not having any

i'm bored of my hair

i'm bored of ciara being better than me

i'm bored of my songs

i'm bored of my paintings

i'm bored of restrictions

i'm bored of expectations

i'm bored of mess

i'm bored of not being able to sew

i'm bored of my language limitations

i'm bored of my imagination

i'm bored of my reality

i'm bored of my street

i'm bored of carpets

i'm bored of screaming inside

i'm bored of being emotionally impaired

i'm bored by my inabilitys

i'm bored of time

New York

Having been back from America for over a week now i though it was about time i posted about it.

New York is amazing, there's so much to do there, although not being 21 for another 2 months left me pretty limited in the evenings. Two days was not enough at all, not to cover everything i wanted to, especially when having to consider other people in our party. We did all the touristy stuff, the stuff you cannot come back from New York without being able to say you'd done it.

The first day we walked down Broadway,we visited the ground 0 site, did a boat tour of the coast which covered the Statue of Liberty, the brooklyn bridge and the manhatten skyline. We went to Grenich village which was lovely, got turned away from a number of bars and bought some New York cheesecake.

The second day we went to the Empire State building, up to the 86th floor and admired the view, took a stroll down times square, central park and into the Moma ( as an art student its considered illegal to leave New York without visiting at least one gallery), found The Strand, 18 miles of books, i think we speant at least an hour in there, and then Allabaster Books, which was another amazing bookstore.

I definatley need to go again, at the legal drinking age and for longer, There's so much there to see, gallerys, shops, cafes.